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Dirty the Pooh and the Hundred Acre Shitpile/ chapter 2 Winnie the Pooh farts and everyone dies
This is the second audiobook in the Dirty the Pooh audiobook series and it's narrated by Jim Dale. The chapter's title is "In which Winnie the Pooh's large and extremely dangerous arse farts directly in all the animal's stupid faces...and everybody dies!" Plot Piglet thinks about sleeping with Jim Dale when Pooh arrives, who is struggling with cumming. There is a new game that becomes popular in the Hundred Acre Wood called "Doing the bitch" Piglet, Rabbit, Eeyore, Tigger and Pooh play the game, which becomes quite a joyful occasion for the animals of the Hundred Acre Wood. The audiobook ends with Eeyore complaining about the fact that the fucking had ended. Christopher Robin tells him that it was only the second half, in which Eeyore's reply is pointless rambling. Transcript Jim Dale - Dirty the Pooh and the Hundred Acre Shitpile. Chapter Two: in which Winnie the Pooh's large and extremely dangerous arse farts directly in all the animal's stupid faces...and everybody dies! (dun dun dun). Late one evening, a few days after this big adventure, when Piglet was thinking of going to bed with Jim Dale and thinking how nice it would be if he were already in bed, passionately making love with Jim Dale's hot, strong body and fucking with all his might and what a bore it was that he wasn't already in bed, sucking Jim Dale's Epic Level Super Magic Wizard Staff of Homomancy with +1 anal penetration, there was a knock on the door. It was Pooh...in bed. Winnie the Pooh - “Sorry to come home so late, Piglet, but it takes time, you know". Piglet - "What does Pooh?" Winnie the Pooh - “Cumming does," Jim Dale - said Pooh, Winnie the Pooh - “you think one is cumming, and it really wants to cum, only it suddenly decides it won't cum until later and maybe, not even then. And then, Piglet, it cums all of a sudden and you have to be ready for it with a piece of paper". Jim Dale - After that a new game came popular in the forest, it was called "Doing the bitch". So, Piglet got into his best sexual position, which he did by dropping to his knees and he put his head between his legs and sat down twice, with a bit of a bounce, from side to side. But then it became wilder with much leaping up into the air. He tried lying on his back with his head on one side with a sign that read "Put in here, please". But he did not know where to put his cock, so Piglet grabbed hold of it and shook it as hard as he dared. It fucking came right away and there was a splash and the shaft went limb very fast after the massive, wet, sticky ejaculation, until there was another splash and Piglet found himself bobbing around on an ocean of glittering...COCK...juice. Now he knew what had to be done. One: He splashed jizz over Rabbit, who released the balls of bunny poop over Eeyore, who splashed a handful of pubic hairs from his sweaty, aching, donkey taint over Tigger, and Tigger emitted a ferocious Tigger - "Fuck you, Eeyore, fuck you, long-ears, fuck you, Owl, fuck, fuck, fuck you, Buddy, fuck you, Tibbles, fuck you, Mr Paws, fuck you George Bush and fuck YouTube, fuck my little pal-a-roo, Roo, fuck all of you kids out there, fuck lots of people AND, especially, fuck you, Jim Dale." Jim Dale - Then, two: He made a fine sand castle with his painfully, expelled, liquid feces and it was hot and steamy. And then, three: He shouted at the very top of his little voice, Piglet - "Oh, Pooh! Fuck me, fuck me! When can you fuck me? Fuck me!" Jim Dale - And Pooh rubbed that part of him which was meant for great, wanky fun, but which had been rubbed rather too much. Winnie the Pooh and Piglet - "(groaning and cumming noises)" Jim Dale - Bam, bam, bammy-bam, bam, bammy-shit, Winnie the Pooh and Piglet - "(more groaning and cumming noises)". Jim Dale - Nobody could remember anything like it. Eeyore - "Have we finished now, fucking?" Christopher Robin - "No, Eeyore!" Jim Dale - said Christopher Robin, Christopher Robin - "We've finished the fucking second half, you stupid arse-cunt." Eeyore - "Really?! More is there? You're not just saying that?" Christopher Robin - "Yes, it's nearly time for the third half." Eeyore - "That's very kind of you. Of course, the grass is always greener on the other side of the forest, more chewy, on the whole. Not the grass, but for my donkey arse (licking sounds) thank you. (Sigh) A week ago last Thursday there was this hedgehog, but hedgehog-" Christopher Robin - "Nobody cares, Eeyore!" Jim Dale - says Christopher Robin. For those too lazy to read Trivia *The title foreshadows the events of chapter three. *When Tigger says "fuck you" to other characters and things it is a direct reference to Very Uncensored Winnie the Pooh which is a favourite of Dirty Potter. Category:Dirty the Pooh Category:Audiobooks